How to tell your kids about the divorce
O.K., let's talk about how to tell your kids about the divorce. Telling your children you are going to get a divorce is one of the most difficult things a parent can do. But having a strategy in place may help your kids better understand and cope with the break up.
Here are a few suggestions you can use when you and your spouse are ready to break the news:
1) Set aside at least 30-60 minutes of quiet and uninterrupted time for a family discussion. Turn off your cell phones, the television and the computer so you can put all your focus on the kids. 2) Make sure both parents are present at the meeting. 3) Keep your statements about your marital problems in general terms and never put the blame on the other person!
Good example: "We do not get along anymore so we have decided to divorce."Bad example: "Your father cheated on me so I am leaving him!
4) Verbalize firmly and often that your marital problems are NOT THEIR FAULT! 5) Be ready to answer both general and specific questions. Children want to know concrete things such as where will they be living, what will the visitation arrangements be and how will their life change. Children need to know what will happen next.
Even after you have taken all these steps to tell your kids about the divorce, your children will probably be hurt, angry, confused and devastated by the news. It is most important for you to understand this, be strong and accept their feelings as they come up.
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