Signs of an Unfaithful Spouse




Are you trying to find signs of an unfaithful spouse? Many spouses who were cheated on claim that they noticed signs of an affair and tried to deny or dismiss them. Some people have a gut feeling that their mate is unfaithful but don't know how or where to look for signs of infidelity. Some go so far as to hire a private investigator to help them gather information about their spouse. So where do you start to figure it out?

First of all...

Go with your "gut"

Don't try to shake off, avoid or deny the reality. Something is off in your relationship and you know it. The signs of an unfaithful spouse may be there and you are trying to avoid them.

Some of these signs may include:

  • Physical Distancing
  • Financial Inconsistency
  • Emotional Distancing
  • Changing Physical Appearance



Physical Distancing

Your spouse starts to physically distance him/herself from you.Perhaps he is "going out with the guys" or "working late" more often then is usual and customary for your relationship. Or business trips keep popping up when he never had to travel for work in the past. Are you spending a lot more time alone than you usually have in the past? This could be a sign your spouse is having an affair.



Financial Inconsistency

Looking into financial transactions. Are you noticing strange purchases on your credit card statement? Maybe a hotel when you haven't traveled in awhile? Or how abou receipts from a florist or lingerie store, and you never recieved them? Looking into your financial records may provide a clue as to what is going on with your spouse. How about scrutinizing your phone bill
(or his or her cellular bill) for numbers that aren't
familiar. If something comes up that seems unusual
to you it is important to check it out with your mate
and on your own if you feel you are not
getting the truth.



Emotional Distance

You just don't seem to connect the way you use to. It is possible(and probable) that your spouse is shielding financial transactions from you by opening up a new credit card and having the statements sent to the office. But you can't shield emotional distancing terribly well. Does your mate seem distance and "off in space" at times? Do you feel like you two don't talk about deep issues anymore? Are they too tired to talk, or constantly busy with projects around the house? These could all be signs of an unfaithful spouse.



Physical Appearance

Changing their physical appearance.Have you noticed your spouse has been losing weight? Working out? Taking extra special attention to his/her looks that seems out of the ordinary could be a sign of an affair.

While none of these signs confirms your significant other is having an affair, they are important things to look at when you think infidelity is involved. And there may be other signs your mate is cheating that you may want to look into.

Melanie Cohn LMSW is a psychotherapist who specializes in marriage, infidelity, and divorce issues in the Detroit metro area. You can learn more about her practice or set up an appointment by contacting her at (248)821-2957 or via email

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