Negotiating Roles and Responsibilities in Marriage
Negotiating roles and responsibilities in marriage can seem like a daunting task, especially if you are feeling overloaded and your spouse appears to be fine with your current arrangement. Whether it is dealing with the finances, how to discipline the children, split up the chores, or how often you make love, trying to get the other person to compromise can feel like banging your head against a brick wall! Below are some of my suggestions for negotiating roles and responsibilities in your marriage.
Prepare Yourself for Negotiation
If you have an issue with your spouse make sure you are ready to discuss it when you are in the right mental framework. You should be in a calm mental state and not in a mindset to pick a fight. You also need to be ready to compromise on the issue. It must be a WIN-WIN situation. You cannot ask your mate to give up everything for your needs. Be ready to be flexible and develop several different plans that you both can agree on.
Separate Your Feelings from the Issues
Keeping your feelings separate from the issues when negotiating roles and responsibilities in marriage will keep the meeting calmer and more productive. Avoid name-calling, belittling, and put-downs. State your interests instead of your feelings. For example: Need: To not have to cook all the dinners Feeling: Unappreciated Interest: Divide up cooking duties more equitably
It is good to be aware of your needs and feelings, being able to state them in a healthy way is a good Couple Skills to have, but discussing what you and your partner's interests are will lead to a specific outcome.
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