relationship trouble

Relationship Trouble

Having relationship trouble? Most of us wish our relationships could be like those in fairy tales. Wouldn't it be great if we could be like Cinderella or Snow White riding off with the prince and living "happily ever after"?

That would be great, but that is not real world reality. Many of us have trouble in our relationships, some worse than others. So how do you know if what you are going through is just typical ups and downs or serious relationship problems? Below are some guidelines to help you answer this question.

1) You argue about the same issues over and over.

Do you find you and your mate fighting about the same issues over and over, never resolving the problem? Perhaps it is the way each of you views and spends money. Maybe you bicker about discipling the children, or who does more chores around the house.

Argueing about these issues is not the problem. Every couple has arguements, this is completely normal and natural. But your relationship may be in serious trouble if you never resolve the problems. Healthy relationships are ones where there are disagreements, but you find a way to either resolve the problem or agree to disagree and move on.

2) Your spouse exhibits chronically negative behavior

If you are in a relationship and your partner shows chronically disruptive behavior, you can assume your union is in serious distress. Has your mate cheated on you many times over the course of your relationship? Do they gamble away their paychecks? Perhaps they have abused alcohol or drugs for years causing havoc in your life.

Chronic cheaters, substance abusers, spenders or abusers lead to serious relationship troubles. I just received an email from a woman who was contemplating divorce due to her husbands ongoing cocaine habit. They had lost everything and he is emotionally abusive to her. She asked for my advice. My advice to her and to you all is this: you cannot change them. Unless your partner recognizes their problems and actively searches for help for themselves, your relationship is doomed. If they are willing to change, then support them. But if not, please recognize you can't save others, they have to save themselves.

If this scenario sounds familiar to you, the best thing you can do is to gather support from friends and family and find some professional help to get you through this difficult time.