When to Confront an Affair When do you confront an affair? You found out your spouse is cheating on you. You are angry as hell and you want to find him(or her), scream and shout, and tell them just what you think of them. This is not the time to run off and do something without thinking. You need to take all factors under consideration when deciding when and how to confront an affair.
Some people might run to their partner's workplace and blurt it out in front of all the coworkers and their boss.(I do not suggest this as it could cause damage to their job and effect you monetarily) Others may avoid the confrontation for fear it might drive their partner farther away. They may believe if they falsely accuse their spouse and push them into a real affair.
So the question you must ask yourself is... Do you really want to know?Peggy Vaughn, who wrote the book, "The Monogamy Myth ", has worked exclusively with people who have had to deal with infidelity. After finding out their mates were cheating on them,these individuals had to decide if and when to confront the affair. One woman Mrs. Vaughn spoke to stated:
"I'm so afraid to ask about it for fear I'll hear the worst. I try to block it out of my mind because I guess I just can't face the reality of the situation."
And there are other questions that you need to ask yourself before you challenge your partners faithfulness.
If you do decide to confront the affairhow will you do it?Are you ready to deal with an angry spouse if your accusations are false? Are you ready to deal with your own hurt and pain if the accusations are true? If the accusations are correct, will you want to work on your marriage or are you ready to pack your bags(or theirs) and walk out? How will you feel about your friends and family finding out? These are several questions you should think about and work through before you take the plunge and confront and affair. All of these factors will influence your decision as to whether confronting the infidelity is the right thing to do at this particular time. Think about it carefully, answer these questions to yourself to the best of your ability. And make the decision when the time is right for you.
***This article was written by Melanie Cohn, a psychotherapist who specializes in relationships, infidelity and affairs. If you are looking for a counselor in the metro Detroit area and would like to contact Melanie Cohn LMSW
click here.
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